There’s a moment from my past that still comes back to me… not loud, not dramatic, just enough to remind me who I used to be. It didn’t happen in chaos. It happened in a quiet, ordinary setting… the kind where nothing looks wrong from the outside. But something was already off. Boundaries had been softened. Lines had been crossed long before the moment itself. A friend trusted me. And I slept with her boyfriend. Even writing that… I don’t love saying it out loud. But it’s real. And what’s harder to explain is how it actually happened. There wasn’t some big, dramatic decision. There wasn’t even a clear pause. It was almost like I went into autopilot… like something in me just took over. I wasn’t thinking it through, I wasn’t weighing consequences, I wasn’t even fully present. It was automatic. And then after… everything slowed down. That’s when it hit. That quiet, sinking feeling in your chest…the kind where you wish you could rewind time, but you can’t. That’s when the weight came in. Not just of what I did… but of who I had just been. And looking back now… that moment wasn’t just about one bad decision. It was about what was already living inside of me.
