Embracing My Body: From Survival to True Beauty

Reclaiming My Body

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been aware of my body. As a survivor of trauma, there were seasons when it didn’t feel like it belonged to me. Caring for it through fitness and discipline became a way of reclaiming ownership. Staying in shape wasn’t only about appearance, it was about power, strength, and proving to myself that I was in control.

But looking back now, I realize I often put too much focus on my body. I believed beauty was something I had to earn through muscle tone, discipline, and a certain number on the scale. What I didn’t understand then was that real beauty runs much deeper than what we see in the mirror.

The Effortless 20s and Strong 30s

In my 20s, everything came naturally. I could eat almost anything, and my activity burned it away without effort. My body felt unstoppable. By my 30s, I had grown stronger than ever, toned, confident, and full of energy.

On the outside, I looked beautiful. But on the inside, I carried anger, shame, guilt, and hate. The attention I gave to my body made me feel desirable, but it couldn’t heal the wounds within.

Then I met Jesus. And slowly, He began to transform me from the inside out. Anger was replaced with mercy, hate with love, guilt with forgiveness, and shame with grace. I learned compassion for others, and as my spirit healed, I began to discover a beauty that muscle tone could never create.

The Shift in My 40s

By the time I entered my 40s, my body had begun to change. Gravity introduced itself, my metabolism slowed, and my once-toned frame softened. Wrinkles appeared, skin loosened, and a little extra fullness settled in places it hadn’t before.

At first, I fought it fiercely… skipping meals, pushing my workouts, trying to cling to the body of my 30s. But then I realized something: the body will always change. Strength and smooth skin don’t last forever. The decline is inevitable, it is my response to it that counts. 

The beauty of the heart is what increases, strengthens, and holds us together. 

Redefining Beauty

I am still beautiful.

Not because of the lines on my face or the shape of my waistline, but because of who I’ve become. My spirit is softer, kinder, more compassionate. My nature with people reflects Christ’s love. And that inner beauty radiates in ways my outward appearance never could.

Yes, I still care for my body. I set goals, I stay active, I strive for health. But I no longer measure myself against the woman I was in my 20s or 30s. Instead, I honor the woman I am today… wrinkles, sagging skin, and all… because my inner beauty is growing even as my outer beauty fades.

Anchored in Faith

Scripture reminds me that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). That truth doesn’t change with age. In fact, it deepens with time. Because true beauty is not found in perfection… it is found in transformation.

Jesus has taught me that the most radiant beauty comes from a heart filled with love, compassion, and grace. Like Him, I strive to love everyone. And that kind of love leaves a glow that no wrinkle cream or diet ever could.

So I’ve stopped asking, "Am I letting myself go?" Instead, I ask, "Am I letting myself grow?"

A Word to All Women 

If you’ve looked in the mirror and noticed changes, know this: you are not alone. We all age. Our skin loosens, our bodies soften, and gravity reminds us of the passing years. But those changes don’t take away our beauty.

In fact, if we allow God to shape our hearts, they add to it. Because beauty isn’t only in youthful skin or toned muscles. It’s in the wisdom we’ve gained, the compassion we show, the forgiveness we extend, and the love we carry into the world.

You don’t have to fight your body into perfection to prove your worth. You already carry beauty… inside and out.

With Hope,

Melissa Mills

Survivor Leader