Understanding Trauma: Why Healing Takes Time and Compassion

Last week, I completed my Trauma-Informed Coaching 101 Certificate through Light University. This milestone deepened my understanding of how trauma affects people, especially adult survivors of sexual violence and psychological abuse, and reaffirmed why empathy and patience are essential parts of the healing journey.

The Hidden Wounds We Don’t See

Many trauma survivors look like everyone else. They go to work, raise families, and smile through their day, yet inside, they may carry the silent weight of fear, shame, and pain. A color, a smell, a sound, or even a tone of voice can trigger old memories that the body and mind interpret as danger. These reactions may seem disproportionate from the outside, but they’re not. They’re learned survival responses, once vital for safety.

The Body’s Defense: Fight, Flight, or Freeze

When the brain perceives a threat, even subconsciously, it activates one of three primal responses:

• Fight – standing ground or reacting with anger, control, or defensiveness

• Flight – avoiding, escaping, or staying constantly “busy” to outrun fear

• Freeze – shutting down, going numb, or feeling paralyzed in the moment, even unable to speak

These are not conscious decisions. They are automatic biological reactions designed to protect us. For trauma survivors, those protective instincts can remain active long after the danger has passed. The body is wired and condition for survival, without taking logic into consideration.

The Different Faces of Trauma

Trauma isn’t defined by what happens, but by how it impacts the person. Each experience leaves its own imprint:

• Acute Trauma – a single distressing event such as an assault, accident, or natural disaster

• Chronic Trauma – repeated exposure to distress, such as ongoing abuse, neglect, or instability

• Complex Trauma – a combination of multiple, often prolonged traumatic experiences, particularly in early life, that disrupt attachment, trust, and self-worth

• Secondary (or Vicarious) Trauma – the emotional toll on those who witness or support others through trauma, such as caregivers, advocates, or family members

• Psychological Trauma – the invisible emotional and mental impact that alters how a person sees themselves, others, and the world

  
  

Real-Life Stories of Healing

Two powerful voices have helped bring trauma awareness to the forefront... from very different walks of life

Lady Gaga has spoken openly about surviving sexual assault in her teens and the resulting Post Traumtic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that followed her for years. She describes her healing process as long, non-linear, and deeply human... a mix of therapy, creativity, and advocacy. Through her Born This Way Foundation, she’s worked to break the stigma around trauma and mental health, reminding survivors that compassion and community can transform pain into purpose.

Beth Moore, beloved Christian author and Bible teacher, has shared her own story of childhood sexual abuse and the years of silence that followed. Her healing journey intertwined with faith, scripture, and the courage to speak out. Today, she uses her platform to help others confront shame, find freedom through Christ, and embrace the truth that restoration is possible for every heart.

Both women, in their own ways, have turned trauma into testimony... reminding us that healing doesn’t erase the past, but it can redeem it.

Healing on a Continuum

Trauma recovery is not linear. Survivors often move through stages of healing, moments of progress, setbacks, and rediscovery. Safety must come first. Then comes processing, rebuilding trust, and learning to feel again.

At Restorative Hope Ministries, we believe healing is possible for everyone. With the right tools, coaching, and community, survivors can rebuild their sense of identity and purpose, and move from surviving to thriving.

How We Can Support Someone Experiencing a Trauma Reaction

When someone you care about is triggered, it can be difficult to know how to help. The most powerful gift you can offer is your calm presence and patience. Here are a few practical ways to support a loved one experiencing a trauma reaction:

• Stay grounded and calm. Speak gently and slowly. Your steadiness helps their body feel safer.

• Do not minimize or question their reaction. Even if it seems small to you, it’s very real to them.

• Offer choices. Trauma takes away control; giving choices helps restore it (“Would you like to step outside?” “Can I sit with you?”).

• Avoid touching without permission. Physical contact can be triggering. Always ask first.

• Encourage professional support. Trauma-informed therapy, coaching, or support groups can make a lasting difference.

• Be patient. Healing can take months or years. Celebrate small victories.

• Take care of yourself, too. Supporting someone through trauma can be heavy and your well-being matters just as much.

  
  

A Call to Compassion

Trauma survivors are brave. Every day they navigate invisible battles most will never see. By learning to recognize trauma and respond with empathy, we help restore hope where it’s needed most.

1 Corinthians 13:7

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

With Hope,

Melissa Mills, Survivor Leader